maliemac941

It’s great that there are eating plans out there that are healthy and balanced that don’t leave you feeling hungry, but my downfall is eating emotionally when I’m not necessarily hungry.  If I’m having a stressful day I go towards food unquestioningly even though I know in my mind that food doesn’t solve my problems or anxiety about whatever is bothering me.  I have read books on emotional eating but I’m not always successful at stopping myself from eating inappropriately like today…where those cheap Christmas buckets of popcorn were half price and I couldn’t resist…I know food is not the enemy, it is just a symptom of whatever is going on inside of me.  I sit here mad at myself and fear that I’m never going to make progress even though I do have good days like yesterday…well, at least I’m being honest and not lying about it!!

Last night was not one of my better nights to say the least.  I stayed inside all day and watched falling snow and then went out took a short walk which unfortunately ended up at the 7-11 where I purchased a box of pop’ems and proceeded to pop half of the box into my mouth.  Then I threw the rest away in disgust and despair.  However, when I woke up this am I just put last night behind me and concentrated on making this a positive day.  On the postiive side:  exercised by going to the gym and doing a little snow shoeing and ate well today so far.  So, it was a better day and what vexed me so yesterday has subsided today.  Things pass even when we’re swamped by negative emotions…they pass.  Good lesson learned.

Happy New Year!  No resolutions for me, just trying to live my life one day at a time.  I spend so much time regretting the past, worrying about the future and pissing all over today…whether it be with or without food.  Doing good things for my body, mind and spirit every day is so important.   Happy 1st day of 2008 to all.

I know twice in one day is a little much, but I just had a food shopping experience I had to share.  Went to the grocery store for a couple of healthy things and where do I find myself?  In front of the snack foods and then in front  of the donuts!  I had the healthy things but kept circling around the store and coming back to those particular places.  I almost succumbed but then I pictured a booming voice with a megaphone in my head saying “Step away from the snack food aisle” almost like someone coming over the store intercom saying that…it was pretty funny and made me laugh and then I left…its amazing how easy it is to get into a head space that says “I need this” ,  “I deserve this”, and find all sorts of justifications for it.

Anyway, it was a humorous way to get myself out of a bad situation.

Happy New Year to all and please be careful out on the roads tonight!

It is six am and I was awake and so I decided to weigh myself right away as it had been a week and lo and behold I GAINED A POUND!!!!!  Of course, I am berating myself for every bad thing I put in my mouth, and am just plain mad but I need to keep this whole thing in perspective.  There will be weeks that I don’t lose or even gain and that’s the way life is and I can’t give up.  It is a number on a scale but it shouldn’t define my self worth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am reading a book called How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything by Albert Ellis, Ph.D.

The overall theme of the book appears to be trying to teach people that their own irrational beliefs about themsleves and situations they encounter can go a long way towards creating  their own misery and tries to teach people how to challenge their own beliefs and look at them in a more scientific or rational light.  One of the first examples given is of a woman who strives to be the perfect wife and mother and aims for perfection in all she does.  The author points out that the  woman is not wrong for striving for perfection in her projects, for striving for the ideal, but just because the project is perfect doesn’t mean she is good because it is perfect.  It is wonderful to strive for great results if they make you happy and you desire that, but when you fail to achieve those great results or fall short, it doesn’t make you a bad person.  I can be disappointed, but not “self-hating” as the book says.

So, I am trying to put that idea to work today…I am not a bad person because I didn’t lose weight this week.  Maybe I just have to tweak my approach?

Right now, we’ve gotten 5 new inches of snow and I plan on taking a walk in it this am, one of my favorite things to do!

Have a great day everyone no matter what you weigh!

I can’t seem to get through a day “perfectly”…I always seem to veer off course at some point and that is truly maddening.  I am keeping track of everything I eat, but perfection is certainly elusive.  But the times I do get off track I’m not veering that far off course so that is something positive.  I did go to the gym and that was a good thing.    I guess the point is not perfection but “good enough” and to keep trying and not give up and not use it as an excuse to binge.

I have read almost every self help book out there (yes, a slight exageration I know but it feels that way) and figure that more information and ideas can only help.   I’ve gotten these affirmation and meditation cards about conscious eating and wanted to share a couple of them:

Taken from:  “Conscious Eating: 40 Afirmations and Medications” from Body and Soul Magazine 

• Take five deep, relaxing breaths  “Before you eat, inhale for about five to seven seconds, letting your belly expand and your lungs fill, then exhale completely.  Breathing deeply helps you slow down and prepares your body to digest by encoraging blood flow to your vital organs.”
• Be present at this one meal right now:  “To be present means not thinking about what was or what is to come-let you4rself experience this meal, this food, this moment.”

•  Eat only what you are hungry for:  “Cup your hands together.  This is as much food as you need to fill your stomach three quarters full. Resolve to eat just that much and give yourself time to digest.  You will be satisfied without feeling too full.”

I’m going to try and do this at my meals today, as well as:  drink 4 glasses of water, go to the gym and eat only what I planned for my meals.

Have a great day everyone!

I almost didn’t go to the gym today and then thought of the Nike slogan “Just do it” so I did.  It is so easy to talk myself out of doing something good for myself like exercise or eating properly.  But, it just has to become a habit.  I try and work out 3x a week but there are times that I drop to 1x a week usually when I’m stressed about work or school.  I know that exercising is good for stress so why when I am stressed do I automatically go towards the couch, the tv. and food?  So, the best thing for me to do so far is to just do it.

Well, I felt pretty good when I went out today and then just lost it …went to the movie and had a small popcorn and topped that off with a package of caramel corn…I wasn’t stressed or particularly sad about anything, Christmas is over so why did I just go into that zone of “I don’t care and I want it now”UGH, UGH, UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am listing everythig I eat in the food journal, but have to find a way to be honest but move on…I’m not perfect and that’s ok…I tend to be a very black and white thinker as well as a perfectionist which I think is usually my down fall when I’m trying to eat well…I’m either completely on or completely off there doesn’t seem to be a happy medium.  Can anyone relate?

The holidays are kind of tough at times and I’m not sure why..being single doesn’t bother me most of the year but it bothers me at the holidays. But I’ve decided to focus on what I have to be grateful for and doing this every day helps put my life in perspective. When the whiner in my head starts going I look at the list that I made that morning and it helps and I’m trying to remember that food solves nothing!